Running as Therapy After Losing a Loved One

On March 31, 2006, I was a happily married wife and mother to a 3-year-old and 9-month-old. Life looked promising and I spent much of my time daydreaming about our future.

In the early morning of April 1, I woke to a knock on my door. I picked up the baby and made my way to answer it. A police officer was standing in front of me. I could feel my entire body shake before he could even speak one word because deep down I knew what he was about to say.

I went numb and pretty much stayed that way for the next couple weeks. At 33 years old, I was picking out my husband’s casket and looking for a burial plot. How was this happening and what was I going to do as I was currently a stay at home mother raising my two sweet babies.

As anyone who has suffered a loss would do, I took control. We had been living on Cape Cod but my husbands’ High-End Audio Theater business was located on Nantucket Island. I packed up and moved 30 miles out at sea to run a business I did not know much about. With the help of his peers, current vendors and a nanny to look after the kids, I was able to continue to run a team of amazing guys for the next five years. I literally just ran with it.

Needing to sort out my feelings, my emotions and release all the anger and hurt that was bottled up, running became my outlet. I would go out and run the roads. Feeling the air and the breeze would instantly help me release my emotions so I could come home as a better mother, business owner, and overall human.
Running became my therapy. At that time, it was not about anything else except my need to heal.

Eventually, a friend said he always sees me out running and asked if I wanted to run with his group and train for the Miami Marathon that coming January. This appealed to me as a marathon was on my bucket list. I can honestly say, that as much as I needed the alone time for those earlier years to help with my healing process, I now needed the friendships that went with group running/training for this marathon.

Since then, I have done 5 marathons, 30 + half marathons, may relays, raced the roads, trails and the beach. I have loved it all and everyone I run with as they have become my family out at sea.

Written by Robin Manning, Siren Luminary 

Follow Robin on Instagram @ackrobinrun